Human Behavior

Thailand, the revelation land

I dreamed of you: You were holding me between your clouds. Your crests were dropping sun rays on my cheeks.
My eyes climbed your peaks before.

I was on the ship, floating on top of a universe of creatures, humbled by the stillness of the limestones.

I felt bliss once I understood that indeed I am no better than anyone that might cross my path. We are both wanderers, you and me.

I could understand no more the struggle of human to show how remarcable he is in comparison with those individuals who are just like him in the end.
Why would we keep ourselves away from the beautiful thought that we share features with our brothers?

All those words that I have once used to describe people’s inability to respond to my demands, seem now mustard seeds thrown in a sea of sand.

I looked at myself, the stages of my evolving soul, my awakening procces. I saw how ignorant I was, how presumptuous, how I was fooled into the belief that my intelligence was elaborated and my reasoning flawless, how pure my intentions felt, how the pain was unjustified.
I met myself in a past where I thought that holding knowledge, having the capacity to adapt and charm, to handle sarcasm and autoirony, was a boarding pass to the sacral land.

I felt myself many times missunderstood, hurt, sabotaged, angered for no reason.
I felt alone in a world of goats who pretended to be humans while I, the Queen of my land, would suffer for being more different than alike.

Today I just look at everyone as a version of myself.
Today I find in people shades of my own soul, I respect their sometimes slow growth or lack of understanding.
I look at them, listen to their story and know for sure that I was once there, kneeled or enchanted.

Such a liberation!

I am no better than others, others are no better than me.

We are separated by our own thinking patterns, locked in despair because we think joy can be only found in a result.

How witless.
How naive.
What a pity that we enjoy the world only when we know that it might be taken from us.

I will meet you tomorrow, in a landscape  where we will look at each other with the eyes of a friend.

Isabela

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